


I’d Like to Thank...

by DRHPaints



Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader RPF, John Mulaney - Fandom, John Mulaney RPF, US Comedians RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Love, M/M, Married Couple, One Shot, Smut, emmy awards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:01:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26059168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRHPaints/pseuds/DRHPaints
Summary: Bill and John are married and heading to the 70th Annual Emmy Awards. After they both win, they go home for their own celebration.
Relationships: Bill Hader/John Mulaney
Kudos: 14





	I’d Like to Thank...

Emerging from the bathroom, John held out his hands, frowning and raising his eyebrows. “Well?”

Looking him up and down, Bill brought a large hand up to cover the broad grin on his face. The expertly cut baby blue tuxedo was stunning, and it made John’s oceanic eyes, if possible, even more dazzling. 

Sauntering up to him, Bill put both of his hands on John’s angular face. “Gorgeous. As usual.” Pressing his light pink lips to John’s for a moment, Bill continued down the curve of his jaw until he was leaning into John’s body and kissing below his ear, dragging his teeth along the sensitive skin in the way Bill knew drove him mad.

”Hey, hey, now.” John chuckled, placing a hand on one of Bill’s broad shoulders. “We don’t have time for that. The car’s going to be here any minute. And you still have to get your jacket on.” He threaded a finger under one of Bill’s suspenders. Resigned, Bill nodded and made his way to the living room. 

Buttoning up his black jacket, Bill checked himself in the mirror, straightening his bow tie. John’s arms encircled him from behind, pressing a kiss to the stubble on his sharp jawline before resting his chin on Bill’s shoulder. “Dapper fella.” He smiled at their reflection. Bill’s phone rang announcing the arrival of the car and with a glance and a nod, they left.

As they drove to the venue, John saw Bill’s fingers tapping on his thigh, his eyes darting to and fro, and he reached over to interlace their hands. He was well aware of how Bill struggled with anxiety after their time together. Hell, they both did. But for Bill it could enter a different realm. John still remembered Bill’s time at Saturday Night Live; the panic attacks, the blinding migraines, crying after sketches because he felt like he was bad at his job, despite being one of the most well-respected cast members in the show’s history. They’d tried everything. Guided imagery, breathing and grounding exercises, meditation. A lot of it was helpful, but ultimately they found anxiety was something you didn’t solve, but instead something you learned how to manage.

“Bill? Bill, look at me.” John smiled, rubbing small circles into his hand. Turning to him, Bill’s eyes were wide and his breathing was shallow. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Bill took a deep, shuddering breath. “I. Am. So. Nervous.” John knew that sometimes it helped Bill to just say the words, to name his fear and get it out there.

“I know. Me too. Let’s just breathe, okay?” Nodding in agreement, they closed their eyes and did a couple of their favorite exercises, Bill’s shoulders relaxing a little in the process.

Leaning his head back, Bill puffed out his cheeks and closed his eyes. “Thanks. I needed that.” He squeezed John’s hand.

“No problem.” 

Arriving, Bill climbed out and extended a hand to John amidst the crowd of celebrities, photographers, and interviewers. No matter how many times they encountered it, John, at least, never got used to it. Walking down the red carpet hand in hand, occasionally posing for a photograph, it still felt surreal. When Bill and John first came out, many people, understandably, thought it was a joke. Two long-time comedy buddies, suddenly lovers? In fact, John suspected some people continued to think it was a gag right up until their wedding day. But now it was old news and when they stepped out together no one blinked twice.

Taking their seats, Bill and John nervously held hands as the show began. It wasn’t long before ‘Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special’ flashed on the screen, followed by a short clip from John’s  _ Kid Gorgeous _ special. Bill squeezed his hand, smiling at John, whose face was flat as he swallowed with a dry throat. 

“And the Emmy goes to: John Mulaney!” Eyes wide, John turned to Bill, who took his face in both of his large hands and kissed him briefly while applause rang out around them.

“Get up there, gorgeous.” Bill beamed, and John pushed himself to his feet, buttoning his jacket as he made his way to the stage.

Accepting the statue, which was heavier than he imagined it would be, John stepped toward the microphone. “Uh, thank you very much. This is incredible, uh...wow. I share this award with Michelle Wolf, with Patton Oswalt, with Samantha Bee and her wonderful staff, and with Steve Martin and Martin Steve.” The audience chuckled politely. “You’ve all made me laugh and many other people laugh so many times, and there’s no better feeling than just laughing uncontrollably, so thank you.” John smiled. “I wanna thank David Miner, Kara Maslin, Michael Berkowitz. I wanna thank our director Alex Timber, our amazing set designer Scott Pask. I wanna thank everyone who represents me and their assistants who do all the stuff.” The audience broke into applause at that, which in retrospect John appreciated. 

“And,” Swallowing, John held the statue aloft. “Most of all I want to thank my beautiful husband, Bill. I’m only funny because you’re laughing. I love you. Thank you.” 

Watching, Bill’s heart swelled with pride. He knew better than anyone the care and precision John put into crafting his comedy. All the notebooks filled with unused jokes, sets in shitty clubs that didn’t pay, touring city after city until he was burnt out and nothing seemed funny anymore, calling Bill in the middle of the night from halfway across the country to talk to him until he fell asleep with the phone against his ear. There was no doubt in Bill’s mind John earned this award.

Returning to his seat, Bill hooked a hand around the back of John’s neck and brought their foreheads together before giving him a light kiss. “Good job. So proud of you.” He caressed one of John’s sharp cheekbones and John beamed, setting the statue in between his legs as the show proceeded. 

When it came time for the ‘Lead Actor in a Comedy Series’ category, Bill was squeezing John’s hand so tightly he was crushing his knuckles, but John didn’t complain as he could feel the tremors radiating from Bill’s seat.

“And the award for Lead Actor in a Comedy Series is: Bill Hader, Barry!” 

Mouth wide with glee, John looked to Bill, who seemed to be trying to piece together whether or not his own name was indeed Bill Hader. Kissing him, John scratched lightly at his stubbled cheek. “Your turn, handsome.” With a shaky nod, Bill stood and buttoned his black jacket, taking the stairs to the stage two at a time in his anxiety.

Holding the award, Bill leaned into the microphone, fighting to say something intelligible, but all that came out was, “Uhh….huhhh….” Bill took a breath. “I did not think this was gonna happen. Okay, so, uh...I took classes at Second City LA…” Not hearing an immediate reaction, Bill gestured to the crowd. “Nothing…um, but, uh...I was taught there that, um...you should always make the other people look good, so what I did was I hired a bunch of really great actors that made me look really good. So I share this with the cast: Henry Winkler, Stephen Root, Sarah Goldberg, Anthony Carrigan, uh, just, Paula Newsome. All of you. Thank you, so, so much.. Thank you, Alec Berg. Thank you, HBO. And, um…” Bill folded his lips. “I can honestly say without my husband John, I wouldn’t be here. John, you’ve made me laugh every day I’ve known you and I love you so much. Thanks.” 

Waving, Bill went in the wrong direction at first, but eventually made his way off the stage. Getting back to his seat, John drew him into a kiss. “I am  _ so damn proud _ of you, Bill.” He grinned, cheeks crinkling. 

Hands jittery, Bill squeezed his fingers, smiling. “Thanks, John.” As the show rolled on, John cast his eyes over at Bill as he caught his breath. They’d known each other for a dozen years now, and he’d seen all Bill had to face to get to this point. The sleepless nights, more like sleepless  _ weeks _ at SNL, where he would be so lightheaded come taping that he’d be chugging coffee and chain smoking just to stay upright. All the panic attacks before (and after) auditions. Writing scripts that Bill never showed anyone other than John because he couldn’t be convinced, no matter what praise John gave him, that they were worthwhile. And now finally,  _ finally,  _ Bill was producing, writing, directing, and starring in his own show. The creative control he always wanted. And as John always knew he would, Bill succeeded.

Show coming to an end, they went through the song and dance of interviews, photos, and fighting their way through the crowd before they were finally back in the car and on the way home. 

Leaning his head back on the seat, Bill sighed, then looked down at the awards between them on the floor. “Wow, I still don’t believe it.” Eyes wide, he shook his head.

“Me neither.” But John wasn’t looking at the Emmys. He was staring at Bill. Smiling, he reached out to push back his dark hair, studying his cobalt blue eyes before tipping forward and fusing their mouths together. Bill unbuttoned John’s jacket, wide hands finding his hips and John peeked one eye open to verify that the divider was up and the driver couldn’t see them as he tilted his head to deepen their kiss. He was surprised by Bill’s voracity as he pulled John onto his lap, encouraging him to straddle his waist. Bill was a deeply private person, and though he didn’t mind holding John’s hand or giving him quick pecks like he had tonight, they almost never fooled around outside of the house.

Caressing Bill’s chest, John spread his legs wide as Bill kneaded his ass, chirping with delight as he brushed up against the beginnings of Bill’s erection. 

“Mmm, fuck, I can’t wait to get you home and get you out of this suit.” Bill breathed, kissing John’s neck, his stubble rasping against his skin as he pulled John’s baby blue bow tie loose.

Working his elegantly long fingers through Bill’s hair, John hummed appreciatively. “Hmm, me too.” Rolling his hips into Bill as he unbuttoned the top of John’s shirt to kiss and nip at his collarbone, Bill’s fingers trailed over the hollow of his throat. 

Car rolling to a stop, Bill peered out the tinted window and saw they were home. “Oh,  _ finally _ .” Hurriedly thanking the driver, Bill dragged John inside, setting down their awards and barely allowing the door to close behind them before he pushed the jacket from his shoulders and shoved John against the wall.

“Mmm, Bill, yes…” John breathed, helping him out of his jacket as Bill nipped at his earlobe. Hooking his hands under John’s slender thighs, Bill lifted him and John wrapped his legs around Bill’s waist with a gasp as Bill ground into him hard, their cocks chafing one another through the fabric of their slacks. John loved when Bill got like this, when he got so hungry for John that he tore into him like a starving man finding a scrap of food for the first time in weeks, his large hands roaming over John’s delicate flesh; all teeth and nails and rough grabbing. 

Leaning back, Bill kissed John, taking his lower lip between his teeth for a moment before hiking him up a little further and carrying him to the bedroom. Watching John’s smiling face as he walked, Bill was struck once again by how stunning he was. Aquiline nose, eyes the color of the sea and just as easy to get lost in, face all sharp angles, but with an indescribable softness that made John appear sweet and vulnerable even at the height of their arguments.

Laying John back on the bed, Bill pulled off his dress shoes before unzipping his slacks, revealing his lithe legs. John was self-conscious about how skinny he was, but Bill found him devastatingly pretty, for some reason particularly attracted to the prominent bone of his wrist, brushing kisses to it whenever he had half a chance.

Bill undid John’s dress shirt the rest of the way, discarding it, and encouraged him to sit up so he could peel his undershirt off as well. Finally, he dragged a hand down John’s narrow chest, hooking his fingers beneath the waistband of his underwear and tugging them down until John lay naked before him. Reveling in the sight, Bill found John’s beauty ethereal as he lay in their bed; eyes heavy with lust, chest rising, stiff cock awaiting Bill’s touch.

Crawling on the bed, Bill lowered himself and met John’s lips. “This really isn’t fair you know.” John piped up, slipping a finger underneath Bill’s suspenders. “You have far too many clothes on.” He chuckled. 

“Oh yeah?” Bill raised an eyebrow, turning his hips against John teasingly. “And why should I be fair?” Pouting his lips and then smirking in that slow, sexy way that made John hot on good days and infuriated him on bad ones, Bill kissed him again and John rocked his naked hips forward, hands caressing his shoulders. There was something about how broad Bill was, the simple  _ vastness  _ of him, that John found intensely erotic, and he loved to cling to him while they made love as if Bill were the only thing in the world holding him steady. 

Nimble fingers working at his bow tie, Bill figured John wouldn’t stand for him remaining dressed and he kicked off his shoes as John proceeded to push off his suspenders and undo his shirt buttons. Helping him out, Bill undid the cuffs and let the shirt flutter to the floor. John’s hands traced over Bill’s firm chest before flowing over his belly and tenderly squeezing his love handles. Bill hated them, hated that no matter how slender he got he still had a tummy that wouldn’t go away, but John adored it, falling asleep on his stomach whenever Bill insisted they watch old movies on Sunday nights.

John’s anxious fingers were working at his fly, and Bill shuffled out of his pants and boxers before reaching in their bedside stand for the lube. Ghosting his hand over John’s cock, Bill leaned down, lips warm against his ear. “ _ You want my fingers inside you, gorgeous? _ ”

Bill’s voice was sultry, smoky. Deep and inviting. Of all the voices he did in movies and on TV, this one was just for John, and it sent shivers through him every time. “Yes, Bill.  _ Please. _ ” 

Nodding, Bill applied lube to his fingers, slowly rubbing John’s tight muscle. He loved to watch John’s face, see every little reaction, every twitch and gasp, as he gradually entered him with his long fingers, curling upward. John’s refined mouth dropped open and when Bill began pulsing into him, his eyes clenched and panting moans escaped his throat as Bill lowered himself and took the head of John’s cock into his mouth.

Sucking lightly for a moment, Bill pulled off with a pop. “Fuck, John, you’re so goddamn beautiful.” He nuzzled his cheek against John’s abdomen, stubble mingling with John’s dark treasure trail. Bill pumped his cock before taking him down his throat once more.

“ _ Oh BIll! Yes! Just like that! _ ” Fingers working their way into Bill’s chestnut hair, John’s body couldn’t decide whether to thrust up into his mouth or down against his hand as he writhed on the mattress helplessly.

Whining, John tossed his head back and forth and frantically tapped Bill’s shoulder. “Bill, if you don’t stop you’re gonna make me cum.”

Raising his head, Bill met John’s eye. “You want to? Or do you want me to fuck you?” Bill casually rested his chin on John’s hip in a manner that, in John’s tense state, was beyond frustrating.

“Fuck me, Bill. Fuck me,  _ now! _ ”

Chuckling, Bill rose. He loved it when that needy note slid into John’s voice. If he wanted to he could really get him begging, it wouldn’t be the first time, but Bill was too eager himself as he lubed his cock and rubbed the head against John’s entrance.

“You ready?” Bill lifted John’s legs over each of his shoulders.

John touched his arm. “Yes.” 

Surging forward, they mutually groaned, Bill at the exquisite pressure of John’s body around him, John at the pleasant stretch as he accommodated Bill’s massive cock. Holding for a moment, Bill inhaled before swiveling his hips and reclaiming John’s cock with his hand, tugging him in time with their movements. 

Curving down, he scooped a hand under John’s neck, attempting to kiss in between broken whimpers and gasping moans. John’s arms hung about his neck and Bill angled his hips to hit John’s prostate more effectively, pounding into him and shaking loose high pitched shrieks with every ramming stroke.

“ _ Bill! Yes! I love you! Yes! _ ” John cried, and Bill fought to keep kissing him as John’s body constricted, thighs shaking and fingers digging into Bill’s back, cum spraying across his chest as he repeated Bill’s name. 

Foreheads pressed together, Bill hammered into John, raising his hands to the sides of his face. “ _ Fuck, John, I love you. Fuck, FUCK! _ ” With a strangled whine, Bill’s hips jerked forward, filling John, and he collapsed on top of him, breathing hard. 

Bill stayed inside John for a while, and they peppered kisses over one another’s faces, necks, shoulders. When Bill rolled off, John rejoiced in the sensation of Bill’s cum left inside him as he shifted to his side, a small amount leaking onto the sheets. 

Facing one another, John drew a lengthy finger over Bill’s sculpted jawline. “So…” he grinned. “Do you believe that you won yet?”

Bill shook his head. “No.” Pushing John’s sweaty brown hair from his face, Bill smiled. “How did I get so lucky?”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Apologies if I misspelled some of the names from the acceptance speeches. Hopefully they’re close enough. 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read! If you enjoyed this story, please leave a comment or come say hi on tumblr at fandomtransmandom


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